Free at last! Free at last!
On the 1st January 2021, the House of Commons is expected to liberate Britain once and for all from the deadening hand of Brussels.
In today’s press conference Johnson said:
At last the moment has come. Britain, after thirty-five years of vassalage, can, once again as an independent and free country, pay to jump over and through EU red tape. No behind the scenes special deals for us. No. Rather than being patronised as a member state, we can feel proud that we are now being given the respect that any middle sized nation can expect from an economic superpower.
The full force of Britain’s creativity and dynamism will now be unleashed as the country embarks on the exciting journey of creating its own tape.
Boris Johnson has announced plans to create blue and white varieties, in addition to the European red, in a move designed to appeal to patriots.
A special green variety is being planned for Northern Ireland.
Tape makers on all sides of every border have declared the deal struck between Britain and the EU as a victory.
When challenged by a soft lefty journalist on the question of whether Britain was truly better off having to pay EU tariffs and being excluded from various EU partnerships, the Prime Minister added:
Better to be ensnared in EU red tape than to be trapped in a room full of sweaty Germans and Belgians making it. This is about sovereignty, freedom and, above all, being able to work in offices that don’t smell.
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