DAMAGED GOODS 13th November 2026
Note that not only is Armitage Shanks a piece of quality rhyming slang, but it’s another revival of a nineties band that makes the roughest of rough punk rock. It’s a joy hearing punk lyrics about the trials of men in their sixth and seventh decade. “It was thirty years ago today / we never bothered to learn how to play”, goes the opener, ‘You Thrill Me With Thoughts Of Violence’. Shanks are the anti-Crass with ‘Banned From The Shops’ replacing ‘Banned From The Roxy’. ‘Shy Bairns Get Nowt’ has the best list of sins you should commit, like pissing in a pond. ‘Brown Brown Booze’ replaces ‘Red Red Wine’ “Nine percent cider / It’s on the rider”.
Most of the songs have a hidden undercurrent of in-jokes and references that I’ll never get but it gives me pleasure just to know there’s a song called ‘Uncontrollable Serge’, probably about someone called Serge…. Other songs have pleasing ideas: “St Michael is my tailor, that’s why I dress so smart / Steptoe is my saviour, he drives my horse and cart”. ‘Turkey Teeth’ is a skanking assault on every aspect of middle-class life, from dental plastic surgery to astroturf to live, love, laugh and “a cheeky Nandos, Friday night”. They bemoan the plaque to Mick and Keith at the train station – ‘What About Brian’; what indeed? Too beautiful to live, too beautiful to be remembered. The Buzzcocks’ ‘What Do I Get’ is played rough and ready, as it should be.
Dick Scum (vocals), Rod Vomit (guitar), St Chalfont (drums) and avant garde collagist, Kurt Von Schitters (bass), make up the band, with Kurt being aka Billy Childish and the rest of the band being pseudonyms to protect the innocent. Miss Spendapenny, who pops up on ‘Television Addict’ is another of the Childish gang and Huddie, the Childish offspring gets a spot too.
Nothing serious, nothing deep, just old friends having fun.
Check out:
November 2026’s Medway Scene albums
https://www.vanguard-online.co.uk/thee-headcoats-children-of-the-sect-garage-excitement/
November 2025’s Medway Scene albums
https://www.vanguard-online.co.uk/thee-headcoatees-man-trap-vital-stripped-down-primal-rock/
Ross McGibbon