Alcopop! Records 12 September 2025
Problem Patterns call them selves “four shouty queers” and they’re not wrong. This incendiary DIY punk record drags me back to the thrill of discovering punk in my teens and the EP format is perfect – the full-on energy and racing sound never flags or drags. Half a dozen songs flash by, shouting, raving and waving before I’m even thinking about drawing breath.
They look at what does it look like to grow up in a screaming fuzzy track that belies the subject – “sad old woman of thirty-two”. Growing old disgracefully without losing that energy and righteous anger. Matt Korvette from Pissed Jeans adds vocals too. ‘Class Rock Has Become My Prison’ toys with being a crunchy riff-beast, while feeding off the cliches and distortions of the legends of rock life and us sad sacks that buy into the stereotypes. ‘I’m Fine And Doing Great’ is another sprint through “living the dream” – it’s a burst of clarity and sarcasm thrown at the expectations of society from someone with the still-clear eyes of a teenager.
The band swap and rotate vocal and instrumental duties, keeping ideas fresh. Deflect expectations: run the title track last (if anyone listens to EPs or albums in full anymore). Is it a take on boring people or a self-deprecating jab at themselves or a dig at fan hangers-on? It rounds up a thrilling fourteen minute race through blistering sounds and thoughts.